Mighty Oaks "Forgiveness"

Unforgiveness:

The unwillingness to work on resolving an offense done to us, or a

hurt received by us, as a result of someone else.

Why should we Forgive?

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

BITTERNESS OVER MY BROTHER

My brothers habitual lies and deception of my family

Craig was the golden child, he was the smart one, I was the screw up, athlete, not very smart.

I was trying to get me life in focus with God and Craig brought his crack head girl friend around my new family, mocking me.

My mom was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer, Craig drained them for money.

I.Why Do We Need To Understand Forgiveness?

A. A lack of forgiveness will cause:

1. BITTERNESS

WHY DO WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND FORGIVENESS?

Hebrews 12:15 ESV

15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;

Holding Grudges Weighs You Down

Melissa Dahl, "Holding a Grudge May Literally Weigh You Down," Science of Us (1-9-15)

According to researchers at Erasmus University carrying a grudge can weigh you down—literally. The researchers asked study participants to write about a time when they'd experienced a conflict. Some were instructed to reflect on a time when they didn't forgive the offender, others were told to think about the time they did forgive the person, and a third group wrote about a comparatively dull social interaction. They were then given a small physical challenge: jumping five times, as high as they could, without bending their knees.

They then asked their human guinea pigs to jump as high as they could, five times, without bending their knees. Those who had been thinking about a time when they'd forgiven jumped highest, about 11.8 inches on average; those who had written about their grudges, on the other hand, jumped 8.5 inches. There were no significant difference in the jumps of those in the non-forgiveness and neutral conditions. In another, similar experiment, people who'd been set up to think about a time they held a grudge estimated that a hill was steeper than people who were thinking about a time they forgave someone.

The results suggest that the "weight" of carrying a grudge may be more than just a metaphor. The lead researcher for the study wrote, "A state of unforgiveness is like carrying a heavy burden—a burden that victims bring with them when they navigate the physical world. Forgiveness can 'lighten' this burden."

2. RESENTMENT

BITTERNESS gives way to deep resentment, what is resentment.

Resentment: Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly; animosity

Resentment is when you let your hurt become hate. Resentment is when you allow what is eating you to eat you up. Resentment is when you poke, stoke, feed, and fan the fire, stirring the flames and reliving the pain.

Resentment is the deliberate decision to nurse the offense until it becomes a black, furry, growling rage.

NOTE: My resentment had grown so deep that when people asked about my family, I would deny that I even had a brother.

3. BONDAGE

WHAT IS BONDAGE: a state of being bound usually by compulsion (as of law or mastery): such as. a : captivity

App Designer Explains How We Get Hooked

Jacob Weisberg, "We Are Hopelessly Hooked," The New York Times Review of Books (2-25-16)

How do Silicon Valley tech gurus design a successful app, an app that will hook consumers and then keep them hooked so they keep coming back to the app? Some app designers call this process "captology," or the art of capturing people's attention and making it hard for them to escape. In his book Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Product, a game designer and professor at Stanford, explains why applications like Facebook are so effective. A successful app, he writes, creates a "persistent routine" or behavioral loop. The app both triggers a need and provides the momentary solution to it.

Feelings of boredom, loneliness, frustration, confusion, and indecisiveness often instigate a slight pain or irritation and prompt an almost instantaneous and often mindless action to quell the negative sensation. Gradually, these bonds cement into a habit as users turn to your product when experiencing certain internal triggers

II. What is Forgiveness?

A. It is not:

1. Forgetting

(we are called to forgive but for us it does not mean forgetting the offense. I may still remember the hurt even if I have forgiven someone who has caused me pain. Doesn’t Jeremiah say, “God will remember our sins no more”? Yes, but that doesn’t mean that God has amnesia. It means God feels about us the way he would feel if he had forgotten. Here’s the key: We can find the power to forgive what we still remember.)

2. Assigning blame (it would be easy for us to say we forgive but continue to assign blame)

3. Letting someone off the hook

(we know that ultimately we will all stand and be held accountable by God. We excuse small children for misbehaving in the grocery store and expectant fathers for breaking the speed trying to get their pregnant wives to the delivery room, and we excuse 10-year-old boys for making certain bodily noises. When an action is excusable, it doesn’t require forgiveness.)

Romans 12:19 ESV

19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

4. No longer feeling (we were created by God to have feelings, it’s a natural part of who we are, you cannot turn your feelings on and off.)

5. Simply moving on (when we choose to move on we never truly find healing and never truly find the healing our soul longs for.)

6. Pretending everything is okay.

(When we try to pretend everything is okay we are in essence excusing the wrong that has been done to us, and true healing never happens. (for example: it’s like when I fell off of a 25 foot ladder, they said nothing was broken so I decided to go on as if nothing were wrong. Reconciliation is always the best case scenario that happens after people hurt each other and then sit down, talk it out, take responsibility, and apologize.)

7. Placing yourself in danger

B. It is RELEASING the unforgiven and moving toward your intended future.

Forgiveness is being able to be in the midst of suffering for what someone has done to you and be able to sincerely say: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” // Luke 23:34

Ravi Zacharias Speaks to a Leader of Hamas

Adapted from Ravi Zacharias, "Ravi Zacharias Speaks with the Founder of Hamas," Justin Taylor Between Two Worlds blog (12-3-12)

Do you know why the Middle East is in the cauldron of hate? Because it's living with the logic of unforgiveness. I was talking to one of the founders of Hamas, Sheikh Talal. I was part of a group of people who had gone to the Middle East to try and bring the people together to a peace table. Sheikh Talal gave us a great meal, told us of eighteen years he'd served in prison, and how some of his children had been lost in suicide bombings. When my turn came to ask a question, I said, "Sheik, forgive me if I'm asking you the wrong question. Please tell me, what do you think of suicide bombing and sending your children out like that?"

After he finished his answer, I said, "Sheik, you and I may never see each other again, so I want you to hear me. A little distance from here is a mountain upon which Abraham went 5,000 years ago to offer his son. And as the axe was about to fall, God said, 'Stop.'" I said, "Do you know what God said after that?" He shook his head. I said, "God said, 'I myself will provide.'" He nodded his head. I said, "Very close to where you and I are sitting, Sheik, is a hill. Two thousand years ago, God kept that promise and brought his own Son and the axe did not stop this time. He sacrificed his own Son."

He just stared at me. The room was full of smoke with all of his security people. I said, "I may never see you again, Sheikh, but I want to leave this with you: Until you and I receive the Son that God has provided, we will be offering our own sons and daughters on the battlefields of this world for land and power and pride."

I could just see the man's lips beginning to quiver; he was sitting right next to me. Nobody said anything after that …. As we were walking out … Sheikh Talal went quickly and shook hands with everyone, and then he came over to me and grabbed me by the shoulders, kissed me on both sides of the face, patted my face, and he said, "You're a good man, I hope I see you again someday."

When you understand [Christ's grace], it is an unparalleled message."If any man comes unto me I will in no wise cast him out."

III. How do I Forgive?

A. Decide to Forgive

Romans 6:13 ESV

13 Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.

Our ability to forgive starts with the realization that we have been forgiven. Jesus tell us that we are completely forgiven in him. The question is do we really believe it?

John 1:16 ESV

16 For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.

Forgiveness Is God's Gift to 'Wite-Out' Mistakes

John Ortbreg, "Unchanging God in a Changing World," Menlo Park Presbyterian Church

Back in the days when everyone used typewriters there was a little thing called Wite-Out. Wite-Out dates to 1966 when an insurance-company clerk named George Kloosterhouse teamed with a guy who waterproofed basements to develop their own correction fluid. They originally called it "Wite-Out WO-1 Erasing Liquid."

You can still buy the product. Wite-Out isn't perfect. If you made a mistake on the typewriter, you'd have to take the paper out or get it raised up a little bit and then dab it with the Wite-Out, paint over the mistake, and then blow on it and let it dry. Then you could type right over it as if the mistake had never been made.

When electric typewriters came along, some genius invented something even better than Wite-Out—the self-correcting typewriter. Now wouldn't it be great if someday down the road somebody invented self-correcting people? Wouldn't it be cool if there could be a self-correcting husband or wife who would say the wrong thing and then just back up and say it over again right? "You know, you're just like your mother. Oops! Let's just erase that and start over." Wouldn't it be great if every spouse or friend or parent or child came with self-correcting technology?

But the human race isn't self-correcting. In fact, we're self-destructing. But in his grace God gave us one of his most amazing inventions—the gift of forgiveness. In a way, it is more powerful than Wite-Out. At the cross Jesus not only covered sin, he also absolves it, pays the penalty for it, and removes it as far from the east is to the west.

ILLUSTRATION: My great sin against my wife that I had held onto for years, this led me to the reality of what true forgiveness really was.

B. Put things into proper perspective

1. Our EXAMPLE is Christ

1 John 1:9

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us all of our sins." What do you do when you forgive someone? What really happens to you when someone you've hurt turns to you and says, "I forgive you"? What is the miracle of forgiveness?

NOTE: On the Cross Christ showed the perfect example of forgiveness. The only difference is that Jesus was the innocent lamb of God. He forgave completely those who were inflicting his pain and death. It’s easy to forgive someone who wants to be forgiven, what happen’s when they find that they have done nothing wrong to be forgiven for.

2. Consider WHY THEY did it.

NOTE: I think many times this may be the hardest. Putting ourselves in the other persons situation and considering why they did what they did against us. When I started to consider my brothers actions, I discovered that he was trying sabotage my life. He saw that I had a successful marriage and two kids who loved the Lord. He had gone through 5 failed marriages, his children hated his guts and couldn’t stand to be around my brother.

3. See them the way GOD sees them.

Note: We see them as the enemy, God see’s them as those that he died for to redeem them back from the lost world.

Romans 5:6–11 ESV

6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

NOTE: Jesus was the innocent Lamb of God, He did nothing wrong deserving death, yet, while we were still dead men walking Christ died for us anyway. This is the cosmic rescue plan for our rotting flesh that is bound and destined for an eternal death. While we were still an enemy of the Cross Jesus would not be defeated or moved away from his mission for the world.

RECONCILIATION: This is an accounting term to make the account against your life and sin balance. For you today gentlemen, the check has cleared, the debt has been paid.

III. How do I forgive?

C. Pray

1. Pray

Psalm 116:1–2 ESV

1 I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. 2 Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live.

1 Peter 5:7 ESV

7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

HE CARES FOR YOU: SAY THAT WITH ME GENTLEMEN “HE CARES FOR ME”

2. Repent

Psalm 139:23–24 ESV

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!

A. W. Tozer

God will take nine steps toward us, but he will not take the tenth. He will incline us to repent, but he cannot do our repenting for us.

3. Trust

Philippians 4:13 ESV

13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

ROOM FOR DOUBT MAKES TRUSTING POSSIBLE

As long as you have faith, you will have doubts. I have a twenty-dollar bill in my hand HOW MANY OF YOU BELIEVE me. Usually only a few hands go up. I am about to destroy your faith. I open my hand and show the twenty-dollar bill. The reason I can say I am destroying your faith is that now you know I hold the bill. You see the bill and don’t need faith anymore. Faith is required only when we have doubts, when we do not know for sure. When knowledge comes, faith is no more.

Sometimes a person is tempted to think, I can't become a Christian because I still have doubts. I'm still not sure. But as long as doubts exist, as long as the person is still uncertain, that is the only time faith is needed. When the doubts are gone, the person doesn't need faith anymore. Knowledge has come.

This is exactly the point Paul was making in his first letter to the church at Corinth: "Now we see [that a 'knowing' word] but a poor reflection [now we have confusion, misunderstanding, doubts, and questions] … then we shall see face to face [we don't see face-to-face yet]. Now I know in part [with questions and doubts]; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known" (13:12).

TRUSTING IS BELIEVING EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR DOUBTS

4. Focus on your relationship with the Lord

Zechariah 4:6 ESV

6 Then he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.

God guarantees to give us all the power we need to fulfil his purposes

Be in the Word - Be in Prayer - Be with your Corner man

NOTE: Receiving grace is not passive.

The abundance of God is not passively received and does not happen to us by chance. The abundance of God is claimed and put into action by our active, intelligent pursuit of it. We must act in union with the flow of God's kingdom life that comes through our relationship with Jesus.

We cannot do this, of course, purely on our own. But we must act. Grace is contrasted with earning but not with effort. Well-directed, decisive, and sustained effort is the key to the keys of the kingdom and to the life of restful power in ministry.

Kinetic Kind of Faith

Kinetic Energy: If we want to accelerate an object, then we must apply a force. Applying a force requires us to do work. After work has been done, energy has been transferred to the object, and the object will be moving with a new constant speed. The energy transferred is known as kinetic energy, and it depends on the mass and speed achieved. Therefore, the greater the mass that is moving the greater the speed.

Scientifically, energy found in the universe can be categorized two ways: as potential energy and as kinetic energy. Kinetic energy is movement energy an object possesses, such as the energy that is used when coasting downhill on a bicycle.

Some of us are living off of past kinetic energy but what we need is to daily introduce new potential energy.

5. Learn from your experience.

James 1:2–4 ESV

2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

1 Peter 1:6–7 ESV

6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

All the experiences that we've had are a rich storehouse of memories. We learned from the difficult times, and we learned from the times of laughter as well. I'm not one to look back and say I wish I would have done this or that differently. I'm more of an optimist who says, "Let's learn from what we've done in the past and let's look forward to today and tomorrow."

Because gentlemen, God has an amazing future of forgiveness in store for your life. Remember that our ability to forgive begins with

“Forgiveness transcends finite human reason.  The mere thought that one’s entire sin account can be utterly eradicated is staggering.  Yet it is quite clear that the forgiveness of sins strikes at the very core of human need and experience.  It speaks of guilt gone, remorse removed, depression disappearing and emptiness of life eradicated.  What power there is in forgiveness!  And it all comes abundantly from the gracious hand of God.”

Lewis A. Drummond, quoted in The Voice from the Cross

God forgive as you have been forgiven!!!!